How do they see me as an observer?

This last week when I entered into the physics classroom at Provo High, I became aware of a few concerning variables when it comes to observing. How do the students view me? Do I stand out as an observer or am I be accepted as just another student? For starters, In Mexico my appearance will blatantly tell everyone I’m not a local Mexican.  Luckily at Provo High, most students are American; even still I felt a little out of place, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. I’d like to explain in detail what feelings I experienced as I tried to find where I felt comfortable as an observer.

As I entered the classroom my first thought was to hide; observe quietly. I sat in the back of the room and pulled out my notebook to take notes. I didn’t feel comfortable. I felt like I was spying on the teacher and the students. I then decided to take the role of a student and open my mouth a bit more. Class had still not started, so I was able to introduce myself to the students around me and ask a few questions about the class. I was surprised that the students didn’t seem to mind my presence. They spoke to me as if I was a fellow student, telling jokes and speaking openly.  I could tell they knew I was older, but they didn’t talk to me as an adult.

The teacher started the class with a lab in which the students got together in groups of three to do some observations at different stations around the room. My first thought was to stand back and be invisible again, but I soon felt uncomfortable just as before and asked a group if I could join them. They graciously said yes and I joined in their huddle around a glass beaker filled with a colorful liquid. The three were friends and worked well together but I couldn’t help but feel excluded.  They didn’t feel comfortable talking to me.  At that point the teacher was unoccupied and I decided to speak it him.  That was then when I felt most comfortable, I felt more on equal ground with him. 

So where do I fit in as an observer? I learned quickly that I‘m not one to be a quite observer, I like to participate. It’s easy to take the role of the teacher’s friend, but I also liked feeling like one of the students. I understand that not all students will readily accept me as such, but some do.  And I’m sure more will as time goes on.

How do they see me? I’m hoping not as an observer or a spy. I think the best way is to act like everyone’s friend, teachers and students. The more comfortable they feel around me, the less of an observer I am to them and the more normal they act when I’m there. It’s that normality that I need for my field research.